


and i'll be holding on to you

by milktoast



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pete is supportive, Poor Mikey is sad, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, implied depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milktoast/pseuds/milktoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey thinks he's just a dumb teen with awkward knees and a shitty haircut. Pete knows he's more than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and i'll be holding on to you

**Author's Note:**

> hello readers! this is my first petemikey fic, so please enjoy! -mt
> 
>  
> 
> (also i wrote this on an ipod so it probably looks like shit tbh)

Mikey couldn't really remember the last time he actually felt good about himself. Ever since he was bullied in middle school for no apparent reason, nothing's been the same. Around freshman year, it finally stopped, but he still remembers the bruises and black eyes he got back then.

Gerard's been trying to help Mikey out with it, but so far nothing's been working. Their parents tried to help, too, but they got the same result. Unfortunately, Mikey didn't have many friends to talk to about this. That Iero kid in his AP English class seemed pretty nice, though.

Then there was Pete.

What Mikey didn't know was that Pete had issues, too. They never talked about things like that with each other. Mikey didn't want to burden anybody with his problems, and neither did Pete. So, neither of them knew about each other's issues. Simple as that.

Mikey was having a pretty bad week (but honestly, when was any week ever a  _good_  week?). He was practically radiating stress as he sat in his desk, fidgeting slightly and picking at his fingernail. The teacher, Mr. Schechter, noticed. "Would you care to come talk to me after class?" He asked as he passed by Mikey's desk.

Fuck.

"Um, sure." Mikey said, looking down and playing with his pencil.

The rest of the period passed by quickly. Mikey remained in his desk after everybody else left to go eat lunch. Mr. Schechter pulled up a chair next to Mikey's desk and sat down.

"Don't worry, Mikey, you're not in trouble." He said, and Mikey felt relief wash over him. He was still a little bit tense, however.

"Why did you want to talk to me, then?" Mikey questioned, voice slightly quivering.

"I've noticed your grades have been slipping slightly. You're usually a straight-A student, but you're at a B at the moment. I see the way you've been acting, too. Is something wrong at home? You know you can talk to me or any of your other teachers if you have problems." Mr. Schechter explained.

Mikey shook his head. "N-No, my home life's just fine. I guess it's just one of those phases, you know? Hormones, drama, stuff like that, right?" Mikey lied. God, he hated lying to people, but he didn't want to seem needy. He was a pretty bad liar, too, but he hoped he could slide this one past his teacher.

The teacher frowned a bit, but he didn't pry. "Well, if you ever do need to talk, I'm here." He stood up. "You can go, wouldn't want you to miss lunch." He patted Mikey's shoulder and walked away.

Lunch was disgusting, as usual. He sat at a table with Pete, his best friend (and basically his only friend). Mikey nibbled at his hamburger, which probably had questionable things added into it.

"Pretty sure they mix dog meat into these things." Pete said, staring at his burger as if it would bite him if he looked away. He dropped it back onto his tray in disgust and sipped some apple juice. He noticed Mikey staring into the distance. "Earth to Mikeyway, anyone home?" Pete teased, snapping Mikey out of his little trance.

"Sorry, Pete, I'm just having kind of an off day." Mikey responded.

Pete raised an eyebrow. "You've been having a lot of off days lately." He pointed out. "Everything's cool, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm good." Mikey replied, a little too defensively.

"Mikey, if some douche is hurting you-"

"No! No, it's nothing, I swear. Don't worry about it."

"You'd tell me if something was wrong right?" Pete asked, because something was _definitely_ wrong.

"Yeah, dude." Mikey said. A pang of guilt practically stabbed him as soon as he said it. Fuck his life.

"Alright." Pete said with a sigh and a fake smile. He was going to figure out what was going on, because he couldn't stand seeing Mikey like this.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Mikey got on his school bus and went back to his house. Pete rode his bike back to his own house.

As soon as he got in, Mikey sat on the couch and buried his face in his  hands. "Bad day?" Gerard asked from across the room.

"Nah, just a headache. I'm okay, I just need to rest." Mikey said. He was actually trying not to cry.

Gerard nodded. "Okay, hope you feel better, Mikes." He said. "I'm going over to Ray's house tonight, so you'll be home alone, but I'll have my phone with me. You remember my number, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, good. Call me if you need anything."

"'Kay. Love you, Gee."

"I love you too, Mikey."

Mikey went up the stairs to his room and locked the door.

When Gerard went outside, he nearly walked into Pete. "Oh, hey, Pete. I didn't expect to see you." Gerard greeted him, smiling.

"Hi, Mikey's home, right?"

"He is, why?"

"Oh, I just came to say hi, maybe play a few video games." Pete lied.

"Alright, I'll let you in." Gerard said, opening the door for Pete. "Mikey said he had a headache, so try not to be too loud, okay?"

"Don't worry, I'll be careful."

"Great. See you around, Pete." Gerard went to his car and drove off.

Pete rushed up the stairs to Mikey's room and tried to open the door, but cursed when he couldn't. "Mikey, it's Pete, open up."

"Go away!" Mikey shouted. Shit, he sounded like he was crying.

"Please, Mikes, I'm really worried about you, for fuck's sakes, let me in!" Oh god, what is he _doing_?

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" Mikey yelled at the top of his lungs.  "Why the fuck do you care about me anyway!? I'm a fucking loser!"

"I care about you because I fucking love you, asshole!" Pete screamed.

Everything went dead silent, and Pete was frightened out of his mind. Thoughts like " _pleasebeokaypleasebeokay_ " rushed through his brain. Then the door clicked, and Pete tried opening it again.

It worked.

Mikey sat on the bed, tears streaking his cheeks. His hand was locked in a death grip over his left wrist, and Pete could see a bloody razor blade on the floor. Pete sat with him on the bed, shushing him and rubbing circles on his back. "Shh, let me see." He whispered, gently grasping Mikey's wrist. 3 cuts oozed blood at a steady but slow pace. Pete grabbed a few tissues and pressed them on the cuts.

"Hold these on them. I'm gonna go look for a first aid kit." Pete instructed.

"Th-there's one in the bathroom cupboard, I think." Mikey replied, voice shaky and weak.

Pete gave a small nod and ran down to the bathroom. Less than five minutes later, he came back with gauze, medical tape, and some ointment to soothe the pain.

He squirted out some ointment and applied it to the cuts, apologizing when Mikey winced. Then he put gauze over them and taped the gauze bandages in place.

"I'm- I'm sorry, Pete, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I'm so worthless and stupid and-"

"Shhh, don't say that, you're wonderful and funny and overall an awesome person. You're the coolest guy I know, Mikeyway."

Mikey pulled Pete into a hug, and Pete eagerly hugged back, not daring to let him go.

"Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" Mikey whispered.

"Fuck yes. I've loved you for years, actually. I'm sorry it took all this for me to actually tell you. I just- I was so scared that you would hate me if I told you."

"Well, actually that's not true." Mikey said. "I had a huge crush on you for a long time too, honestly." He pulled back from Pete's hug, and Pete reluctantly let him go. "I love you, Pete." Mikey said softly.

"I love you too, Mikey." Pete replied.

Mikey gave him a small, nervous smile, and it wasn't hard to guess what would happen next. Mikey leaned down and pressed his lips to  Pete's. They softly kissed for a few minutes, enjoying the tenderness of the moment.

When they broke apart, Pete stared into Mikey's eyes. "Please, promise me you won't hurt yourself again."

Mikey nodded. "I promise I won't do it again."

"I'm serious, Mikey. I don't want to see you do it. I don't want you to suffer." _Don't want you to suffer_ _like I did_.

Mikey pressed his face into Pete's shoulder. "Have you ever hated yourself? Like- like I do?"

Pete hesitated a little. "... Yeah, I have, actually."

"What did you do?" Mikey asked.

Pete looked at the ground. "Mikey, I don't know if I should tell you, I've never told anyone about it-"

"Pete, please." Mikey interrupted. "Just do it. We don't ever have to talk about it, but I need to know."

Pete sighed in defeat. "Okay. A while ago, back in sophomore year,  I drove to this parking lot, I think it was at Best Buy or something.

"It was pretty late at night, but I don't really remember what time it was. I do know it was during winter break. I fucking hated my life, I just wanted to stop feeling like shit about myself all the time, right?

"In the glovebox, I found a bottle of Ativan. I downed the whole goddamn bottle and waited. Then that's when my mom called me, asking where I was. I told her, and she called an ambulance. I guess she heard the slurring in my voice or something.

"They took me to the ER and got me on a stomach pump. I was in the hospital for over a week. When I got out, Mom started taking me to a therapist. I've been getting better ever since, thankfully. But that was a close call."

Mikey was shocked, but he pulled Pete into another hug. "You fucker, why didn't you say anything? I could have helped you!"

"I was too afraid to ask for help, I'm sorry." Pete explained. "But seriously, you need to talk to someone about your self esteem issues, okay? I don't want you to end up like me on that night."

"Okay." Mikey responded. "Um, could you stay over tonight? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I'd feel safer if you did."

Pete smiled. "Sure, I'll call my mom and let her know."

After Pete called his mother, he scooted closer to Mikey and put his arms around him. Mikey relaxed into Pete's embrace and smiled a little. "Wanna watch a movie?" He asked.

Pete nodded. "No horror movies, though. I still get nightmares about  Hellraiser. How about something funny?"

Mikey chuckled. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off it is, then."

The movie was awesome. It was one of those that never got old no matter how many times you watched it. They couldn't stop giggling at the parade scene, even though it wasn't that funny.

Once the movie was over, It was about 11 o'clock. They were both insanely tired. They laid there spooning, and Pete was trying to be the big spoon. Mikey laughed. "Sorry, Wentz, but you're stuck being the little spoon."

"Aw, man!" Pete whined, but he smiled. They switched so that Mikey was the big spoon, and they were fast asleep.

When Saturday morning rolled along, Mikey woke up first. He lazily opened his eyes and stared at Pete, who was still asleep.

 _Maybe things will get better,_ Mikey thought, before falling asleep again.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys liked it! i'm pretty happy with how this turned out, considering that i haven't written anything in a while. thank you!


End file.
